“This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.” 1 John 5:2

Stubborn Maria

1.29.2010




Maria. Maria. Maria. Where do I begin with my Maria? There is so much to say about her- she is my stubborn girl who keeps me busy, keeps me laughing, and keeps me praying. Most of the time she drives me insane, but that is why I adore her so much.


In the first few weeks at SMILE, I noticed Maria immediately for two reasons. One, she was always causing trouble. Two, she is the only child at SMILE with blonde hair. She stands out with her dark skin and light hair because no one else is like her. One of my first moments with Maria was a negative one. I was helping with chaotic bath time, and I was doing my best to keep the girls in line and trying to regulate how many were crowded around the basins. There are always a few that want to stay at the basin all day long and play in the water and never leave or move out of the way for someone else. Well Maria is one of those. I had repeatedly told Maria that she was finished. I kept calling for Maria to come out but she refused to listen or to obey. Finally I went in for her and grabbed her hand to lead her out. She did not like that. She fought and pulled and kicked her way out but eventually I won. She was so angry with me for spoiling her fun. She just leaned up against the wall of the bath area and glared at me- she had the most evil look on her face. I knew then she was never going to like me- she would never trust me again. The more she pouted the worse I felt. I began feeling guilty and worried that she would stay mad at me forever.


Maria is a fighter. She is full of spunk. So its no surprise that she inched her way back up to the front of the line and tried to sneak back in for a second bath just in spite- probably hoping I would catch her. She is defiant. She is persistent. She is stubborn. And yes in turning my back for a second, she made it back in.


Maria didn’t come around us much at first- she just did her own thing- mostly terrorizing the other children. I spent a lot of time observing Maria, and I soon realized she didn’t have many friends. She was busy being the bully, and it was sad to see that she wasn’t laughing and playing with other girls her age. She seemed tough and guarded- like she didn’t trust anybody. On the outside she is a six-year-old spitfire, but deep down I felt there was so much more to her.


She got really sick with Malaria, and it became an opportunity for me to nurture her and love on her. She was resistant at first but soon warmed up to me. After babying her for a few days…she was ruined. She was attached and starving for attention and love. So this was the beginning of our relationship.


As I sit here and write about her I have a huge smile on my face because this little girl brings me so much joy! She is now my best buddy. She clings to my side. She has become so affectionate and loving- it still surprises me.

Maria has a trade mark- she communicates using only her eyebrows. She moves them up and down to answer “yes”, but she realized I loved it so much and now she does it all the time! She knows she can get away with most things when she simply raises her eyebrows. She is so animated and so dramatic. I hope that I am painting a picture of just how fun and full of life she is.


Everyone assumes stubborn Maria does not want love- but she is the very one who needs it the most. With time she learned to trust me, follow me, cling to me, listen to me, and obey me. At least I like to think so. On one of Maria’s more feisty days, she and a friend were fighting. I’m not sure who started what, but I saw Alima hit Maria. You just don’t mess with Maria- its not a good idea. Maria took off running after her to get her back..to make her pay. I managed to pull them apart and sit them down for a chat. I tried to explain how they are friends. Friends don’t beat each other- don’t hurt each other even when you are annoyed with one another. Maria put on her sad face and dropped her head. She looked at me with apologetic eyes like they were asking for forgiveness. Did I also mention that she is quite the actress? She could fake a cry to win an academy award, yet for some reason I actually thought she was listening to me and trying to obey me. As soon as I finished, she jumped up and ran after Alima. When she reached the poor girl, she grabbed her by the head and pulled her to the ground. Honestly, I just stood there and laughed. I wasn’t laughing at the poor girl screaming for her life as Maria sat on top of her. I was laughing at myself because I actually believed I was getting through to her. I was laughing at how easily she fooled me.


I was talking to Pastor Ruth about my stubborn Maria and how much I love her although she can be the thorn in my side. Pastor Ruth then informed me on Maria’s story and how she fought to live. She told me about how sick and near death she was when she arrived at SMILE two years ago. She was an extremely malnourished 3-4 yr old and had such a large belly that she couldn’t walk or hardly even move. She would just lay there and moan. She couldn’t even speak- she would just cry from pain and discomfort. With special food and lots of attention and care- Maria slowly got better. She fought to survive. I like to think her stubbornness saved her life. It’s hard for me to imagine not having Maria at SMILE. She has taught me so much about patience, obedience, and love. The world would be at such a loss with out stubborn Maria, so I thank God for her- for every part of her. I thank God for her eyebrows that she uses to win my heart. I thank God for her temper and strong will. I thank God for her passion and intensity about life. I thank God for her compassion and affection for me- for her bear hugs and kisses on the cheek. I never would have dreamed that the stubborn girl I pulled out the bathroom kicking and screaming would be the same little girl pulling on my arms and clinging to my legs begging me not to leave.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a great writer you have become! Such sweet yet heartbreaking stories. It sounds like this has been so fulfilling for you and for these special children.

When do you come back to Tennessee?


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