Is it love?

Since we arrived at SMILE in November, I was drawn to the underdeveloped, malnourished and what seemed to be neglected babies. Two little baby girls in particular stood out to me as the most in need. Lamorae, who I mentioned in a previous blog about Banana day, has made improvements all around. In this short time I have noticed weight gain and an increase in energy and alertness. She seems happier and more interactive with the other babies. Nika is the other precious tiny baby girl who needs extra attention and love. However, Nika hasn’t made quite the improvements like Lamorae. Nika is still very thin and underdeveloped. She is around 16 months but probably the size of a 5-6 month old. We have noticed more energy throughout the day and an increase in stimulation, but still not enough progress.

We recently met some fellow missionaries in Tororo that are apart of an organization called IAM (International accelerated missions), and one of them felt called to build an orphanage on his compound called Awenjo House. He currently has about 20 orphans of all ages living there with a Ugandan Momma and Papa. They decided to come check out SMILE and visit the children. The IAM missionary felt called to take Nika into his care at Awenjo house. However, Nika is not an orphan. In fact, both parents are alive. Nika’s father left her mother, and now the mother has remarried. The father took the children but neither has much involvement with their children anymore as it seems. All that was needed for Nika to get proper care and love was to sign her over to Awenjo House. The mother came to SMILE and claimed to have no control over her children, so we sent for the father. Both of the parents sat down with Pastor Ruth and the Momma and Papa of Awenjo house and discussed the options. As we were all waiting to hear the decisions- I was looking at Courtney hold Nika in her arms, and I prayed that the parents would give her up and give her an opportunity for a better life. I was hoping for Nika to have a chance to grow and live in a safer environment- I could think of nothing else…until it happened.

Both Nika’s father and mother walked out of the office and right by their children- it all happened so quickly. Like that- they signed over their precious child. They gave her up in a matter of minutes. I was hoping for this to happen and then when it did my heart was breaking for baby Nika. It was difficult to watch her parents leave and watch her siblings, as they had no idea their sister was no longer going to be with them. It all seemed so quick. It seemed thoughtless- like she was an object to hand over. She seemed like a burden being lifted. We all just wanted to cry. My heart ached because I thought how unloved is precious Nika? How could her parents be so heartless?

Then I thought again. Could it be possible that all of this was an act of love? Nika is loved. Her mother and father do love her and realize they cannot care for her properly. Giving her a chance to survive IS love. Giving her a better life IS love. I do not know her parents’ hearts, but I do know that Nika is their child- the child they created. I would hope they would want nothing more than to see their child be cared for and loved. Even more important, Nika is loved by her heavenly father more than any of us can fathom. He is watching over her and caring for her always. He is the one giving her a chance to survive and grow up healthy and strong. He is her creator and protector and provider- He is her father- He will never leave her nor forsake her. That IS ultimate love.

As I watched this situation unfold, I watched the mother gather her things and with no emotion take Nika along with Momma and Papa of Awenjo House to get evaluated at the hospital. At first glance I judged this mother- I accused her of not loving her child. Who am I to know this woman’s heart? Who I am to say she wasn’t dying inside, ashamed, and heart-broken to be giving up her own baby. Who am I to say she isn’t thankful and rejoicing in the Lord that her baby now has a chance to live--and live happily. Out of love, this mother sacrificed her child to provide for her a life she did not have the means to give. I will never know the motives and desires of this woman’s heart and it’s not of my concern. What I do know is that God showed me an act of love. He has given Nika hope and love. Awenjo House can give her so much and I am hopeful in hearing of her progress!